Monday, November 16, 2015

Revised Thesis Statement

Jazzlyn LaNier

Professor Young

November 16th,2015


                                                    Anaphylaxis

Because anaphylaxis is life threatening and kills millions of people per year
therefore there should be accommodations and a cure to help these individuals in everyday life.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for positing your thesis Jazz. Who would disagree with your statement? Currently, your thesis reads more as a fact. Why shouldn't your thesis be fact based?

    In what way can you rewrite your thesis to more closely reflect a stance or opinion?

    I look forward to your revision.

    Prof. Young

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for positing your thesis Jazz. Who would disagree with your statement? Currently, your thesis reads more as a fact. Why shouldn't your thesis be fact based?

    In what way can you rewrite your thesis to more closely reflect a stance or opinion?

    I look forward to your revision.

    Prof. Young

    ReplyDelete